Such good storytelling and environment building happening in this game with some great art. You’ve got some real skill in building and maintaining a story cohesively. I would encourage you to find ways to bring more meaningful choice into your narrative to give the player more immersion or engagement. Utilize the platform to make other details come to life: Coding affects, cosmetic design choices, and sounds for immersion are all things you could play with to bring your stories to life. Take risks and experiment! Well done and good work. I’m looking forward to see what you bring to your next game!
this has a great environment so far !! the descriptions of Scrup and his environment are very well done, and help me visual the space your story takes place in. i was also very intrigued to learn more about the backstory of Scrup, he seems like a very interesting character !! great work so far!
I'm impressed with the sense of place and exploration you achieved through descriptions and choices alone. It is also smart to flag areas in the game in which the interactivity can be enhanced with new techniques (like the inventory). Perhaps the biggest lesson to carry forward here is the way you build anticipation with the fire motif. I expecting that either fire will become a central narrative or mechanical component, or that it will be used as a red herring. What if I have been paying attention to the fire all along, when I should have instead memorize other aspects of Scrup's life? That's a narrative-driven mechanic made possible by you writing. Good job!
Great story-telling happening and love the colorful characterization of Scrup. Think about adding sounds! You’ve got a lot of good descriptions that could benefit from a few small sound snippets to bring them to life. Scrup sounds like a pretty interesting character with an interesting perspective and it makes me wonder about the game being told from Scrup’s point of view during the player’s choices so that the player can feel more immersed in being Scrup as opposed to just controlling where he goes. Really really like your characterizations and where you’re going with your storytelling and I’m looking forward to more and to seeing how you choose to incorporate illustrations!
zack! always loved your writing (without actually seeing it) so i'm so happy to play this. great descriptions, wondering if there is sound because i totally see you being AWESOME with it. maybe we should collab :eyes:
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Such good storytelling and environment building happening in this game with some great art. You’ve got some real skill in building and maintaining a story cohesively. I would encourage you to find ways to bring more meaningful choice into your narrative to give the player more immersion or engagement. Utilize the platform to make other details come to life: Coding affects, cosmetic design choices, and sounds for immersion are all things you could play with to bring your stories to life. Take risks and experiment! Well done and good work. I’m looking forward to see what you bring to your next game!
this has a great environment so far !! the descriptions of Scrup and his environment are very well done, and help me visual the space your story takes place in. i was also very intrigued to learn more about the backstory of Scrup, he seems like a very interesting character !! great work so far!
Thank you Larry! Appreciate ya B)
That would be ideal! Thank you for the feedback!
Pog B)
I really enjoyed the descriptive writing!! Im looking forward to see what Scrups adventure will be like later on.
Good work gamer~
Thanks, gamer. Appreciate ya B)
I'm impressed with the sense of place and exploration you achieved through descriptions and choices alone. It is also smart to flag areas in the game in which the interactivity can be enhanced with new techniques (like the inventory). Perhaps the biggest lesson to carry forward here is the way you build anticipation with the fire motif. I expecting that either fire will become a central narrative or mechanical component, or that it will be used as a red herring. What if I have been paying attention to the fire all along, when I should have instead memorize other aspects of Scrup's life? That's a narrative-driven mechanic made possible by you writing. Good job!
Great story-telling happening and love the colorful characterization of Scrup. Think about adding sounds! You’ve got a lot of good descriptions that could benefit from a few small sound snippets to bring them to life. Scrup sounds like a pretty interesting character with an interesting perspective and it makes me wonder about the game being told from Scrup’s point of view during the player’s choices so that the player can feel more immersed in being Scrup as opposed to just controlling where he goes. Really really like your characterizations and where you’re going with your storytelling and I’m looking forward to more and to seeing how you choose to incorporate illustrations!
Fantastic writing!! keep it up gamer
Thank you gamer, will do :triumph:
Love how much effort you put into creating the personality and the story's details! I look forward to reading the rest of it! :)
Thank you! I look forward to writing it. :)
I'm excited, if we get to continue these games! I'd love to keep going with this one.
This writing is amazing! I really feel like I'm wondering around with Scrup. I look forward to seeing how his adventure goe
Thank you so much! It's not too long, but I'm willing to flesh it out more if we get the chance!
zack! always loved your writing (without actually seeing it) so i'm so happy to play this. great descriptions, wondering if there is sound because i totally see you being AWESOME with it. maybe we should collab :eyes:
Thank you! It's not much but I'm glad you like it :)
I would really like to add sounds, as well! Hoping we expand more into that this class. (I'll definitely add a water drop noise to the beginning.)
A collab? HOHO perfect.